Teknik Observasi dan Bahasa Tubuh dalam Konseling

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Teknik Observasi dan Bahasa Tubuh dalam Konseling - Dalam artikel ini Anda akan belajar mengenai apa itu observasi secara mendalam, observasi pada tubuh atau yang biasa disebut bahasa tubuh dalam konteks konseling. Terdapat tulisan yang akan menambah ilmu konseling anda di artikel ini dan video yang berkaitan dengan bahasa tubuh.

Observasi pada Bahasa Tubuh Manusia

1. The absence of emotion as important as the presence of emotion

TL Non-Verbal	Interpretasinya
Cepat, tegak berjalan	Percaya diri
Kacak pinggang	Siap siaga, agresi
Duduk dengan menyilang, kaki menendang perlahan	Bosan
Duduk dengan kaki terbuka	Terbuka, releks
Tangan menyilang di dada	Defensif, berusaha melindungi diri
Berjalan dengan tangan di kantong, bahu membungkung	Kekesalan
Tangan di pipi	Berfikir, mengevaluasi

2. Micro expression (Paul Ekman) hanya 0,001 dari penduduk dunia. 

TL Non-Verbal	Interpretasinya
Menyentuh, sedikit menggaruk hidung	Penolakan, ragu, berbohong
Menggaruk/menggosok mata	Ragu, sangsi, ketidakpercayaan
Tangan terkunci di belakang	Marah, frustasi, ketakutan/antisipasi akan sesuatu yang akan terjadi
Pergelangan kaki terkunci	Ketakutan/antisipasi akan sesuatu yang akan terjadi
Kepala ditopang tangan, mata melihat ke bawah	Kebosanan
Menggosok tangan	Antisipasi
Duduk dengan tangan disilang di belakang kepala, kaki menyilang	Percaya diri, perasaan superior
Posisi terbuka seperti pohon palem	Tulus, terbuka, lugu
Mencubit batang hidung, mata tertutup	Evaluasi negatif

3. Micro expression bisa dilihat kurang dari 1/5 detik 

TL Non-Verbal	Interpretasinya
Jari mengetuk, ataupun membuat gerakan drum	Tidak sabar
Steepling fingers	Tertarik, sikap otoritatif, tekad , ketetapan hati
Mengulung-gulung rambut	Kurang percaya diri, merasa tidak aman
Tilted head	Ketertarikan
Memegang/membelai dagu	Berusaha untuk membuat keputusan
Melihat ke bawah, wajah berpaling	Sangsi atau tidak percaya
Menggigit jari	Merasa tidak aman, cemas
Menarik-narik telinga	Keragu-raguan

image source: facilitationfirst(dot)com

Baca juga: Kualifikasi Kerja dan Kode Etik Konselor

Observasi pada Kontak Mata

Kontak mata yang cukup lama adalah wajar, ketika:

• Objek yang dilihat jauh 
• Mendiskusikan hal-hal yang umum 
• Tertarik dengan orang lain 
• Berusaha mendominasi dan mempengaruhi orang lain 
• Ekstrovert 
• Tergantung pada orang lain dan orang tersebut belum memberikan respon 

Seseorang akan kurang melakukan kontak mata, ketika:

• Posisi mereka yang sangat dekat 
• Mendiskusikan hal yang sangat rumit dan personal 
• Tidak tertarik dengan reaksi orang lain 
• Tidak suka orang lain 
• Orang lain statusnya lebih tinggi 
• Introvert 
• Gangguan dalam penglihatan 

Contoh dalam keseharian:

• Ketertarikan: orang yang saling menyukai akan menatap lama dibanding yang lain 
• Agresif: kontak mata yang berkepanjangan; ‘mata laga mata’ 
• Malu dan kesedihan: menghindari kontak mata 
• Kegairahan: mata bergerak cepat seperti melakukan scanning 
• Panic: mata terpaku, terbuka lebar, seolah-olah tidak ingin kehilangan gerakan sekecil apapun yang bisa membahayakan 
• Marah dan kebencian: eyes narrow, often more than slit 
• Kesedihan: mata tertunduk melihat ke bawah, berkurang kontak mata 

Ekspresi wajah Konseling

1. Kebahagiaan

Pipi naik, kerutan di sekitar mata, pergerakan dari otot di sekitar mata

2. Kesedihan

Ujung bibir turun, melihat kebawah, pangkal alis naik, kelopak mata atas terjatuh, mata kehilangan fokusnya 

3. Marah

Pandangan tajam, tertuju langsung kepada hal yang membuat marah, dagu terangkat, gemerutuk gigi, alis turun secara bersamaan, merapatkan bibir. 

4. Takut

Mata terbuka lebar, kelopak mata atas terangkat, kelopak mata bawah menegang, mulut terbuka, dan tertarik sedikit ke arah daun telinga, gemetar yang berdampak pada wajah dan tubuh 

5. Terkejut

Alis mata terangkat dan tertarik secara bersamaan, mata terbuka lebar, mulut terbuka 

6. Penghinaan

Ujung bibir mengencang dan naik hanya di satu sudut 

Gerakan Kepala dalam Konseling

Gerakan kepala bisa digunakan untuk berbagai macam tujuan, yaitu: mengindikasikan sikap, pengganti bicara, mendukung apa yang dikatakan, kontradiksi dari apa yang dikatakan

• Angkuh ataupun agresif (kepala terangkat tinggi, sedikit agak miring ke belakang) 
• Kepala yang lebih rendah, sikap tunduk, kerendahan hati ataupun depresi. 
• Posisi kepala yang dekat ketika berbicara melambangkan kedekatan emosional ataupun intelek. 
• Pada posisi duduk biasanya kepala yang disanggah dengan ibu jari dan jempol melambangkan ketertarikan secara intelektual 
• Kepala tegak: postive dan netral, 
• Kepala di miringkan: menunjukkan ketertarikan atau rasa suka, 
• Kepala turun: negatif dan menghakimi 
• Kepala ke depan menjauhi bahu lambang ancaman kepada lawan; 
• Kepala miring , mata dikedipkan sebelah dan alis naik melambangkan bersahabat dan tertarik 
• “Pain in the neck”+ melihat ke bawah lambang dari berbohong. Kalau memukul leher belakang dan “pain in the neck” lambang dari frustasi atau marah. 

Gerakan Tubuh dalam Konseling 

• Mengangkat ke dua bahu dan/atau satu bahu: I don’t care/ leave me alone 
• Dada yang membusung : sombong 
• Menggosok tangan secara bersamaan: mengharapkan seseuatu yang bagus/ baik. 
• Jempol dan jari yang digosok: berharap duit 
• Tangan yang mencengkram/ mengepal: frustasi 
• Tangan Membentuk menara: percaya diri, tangan membentuk menara dengan posisi tangan di atas: memberikan pendapat. Kalau diikuti dengan posisi kepala agak ke belakang artinya arogansi, tangan membentuk menara, dengan posisi di bawah: mendengarkan. 
• Jempol yang ditampilkan: melambangkan dominan, superior ataupun agresi. Contoh: orang lagi pdkt, baju baru, manager pada bawahan. Pada kasus dimana bahasa tubuh tidak sejalan dengan apa yang dikatakan. Contoh: pengacara mengatakan: “ menurut pendapat saya yang mulia…” sambil menampilkan jempol, kepala agak ditarik ke belakang, melihat ke bawah hidungnya, melambangkan sombong dan tidak tulus.

Gerakan Tangan Ke Wajah

• Menutup mulut : Hal ini mengindikasikan seseorang berbohong. Terkadang di cover dengan pura-pura batuk atau menguap. Kalau lawan bicara yang menutup mulutnya, maka dia merasa kamu sedang berbohong. 
• Menyentuh hidung: indikasi berbohong. 
• Menggosok mata: mebelokir kebohongan, keraguan. 
• Menyentuh telinga, tatapan menghindar, senyum palsu dengan gigi yang dikepal: tidak tulus. Menyentuh telinga mengindikasikan sudah cukup mendengarkan keterangan yang ada, atau dia mau berbicara. 
• Menyentuh leher atau ujung telinga: tanda ragu atau tidak yakin. Penelitian menunjukkan ketika seseorang berbohong akan memunculkan sensasi geli di sekitar wajah dan leher dan dibutuhkan untuk menggaruknya untuk menghilangkan rasa geli. 
• Menggaruk leher atau menarik kerah mengindikasikan bohong, frustasi, marah Tangan di sekitar mulut: merasa tidak aman atau manifestasi dari dalam diri seseorang untuk jaminan. 

Lainnya

Jenis salaman: Salaman dengan posisi tangan di bawah: submisif, salaman dengan posisi tangan di atas: dominan, salaman ‘Dead fish’: karakter yang lemah. Biasanya orang yg melakukan ini tidak sadar.

Berikut tambahan bacaan yang disadur dari tulisan Mitchell, K:

What are observation skills? Observation skills are when you observe your own behavior and clients’ behavior, anticipate individual and multicultural differences in nonverbal and verbal behavior (Allen E. Ivey, Mary Bradford Ivey and Carlos P Zalaquett, 2010). Here are a few things that counselors should observe while interviewing clients. Counselors should observe attending patterns of client behavior, observe nonverbal behavior, observe verbal behavior, observe conflict, incongruence’s and discrepancy, and observe individual and multicultural issues in nonverbal behavior, counselor also need to encourage the client, paraphrase what the clients is saying and summarize.

The reason why counselors should observe attending patterns of clients’ behavior is because improving your observation skills is by noting your own and client’s style of attending behavior (Allen, Mary, Carlos Zalaquett, 2010). For example, when I do interviews at my job most of my clients, break eye contact, change their body language and change their voice of content. They change their voice of content because they trying to sound proper so they can get the job. Also, when I interview, my clients give me that eye of confusion, when I ask them why do you think you are qualified of doing this job and what can you bring to the to this company. By observing these attending behavior of patterns of clients can help us as interviewers to improve on our observation skills.

The reason why observing nonverbal behavior is important is because nonverbal behavior can tell you if the clients are discomfort in what you are saying. For instance, I asked my friend, why she always shake when she is around someone new. She would say “because she is nervous around people she do not know. Also, most of the times hand and aim gestures tell you and the client how you are going to organize things. Random discrepant gestures may say that your clients are confused, for instance, person seeking control or organizing things may move hands and arms in straight ( Allen, Mary and Carlos Zalaquett, 2010). On the other hand, smooth, flowing, gestures, those in harmony with the others saying that you and the clients is connecting together. These gestures let you be more relaxed with people you are around.

Counselors should observe verbal behavior because language is basic to interviewing and counseling (Allen, Mary, and Carlos Zalaquett, 2010). For instance, selective attending behavior, most clients like to talk about what counselors are interested in hearing (Allen, Mary, Carlos Zalaquett, 2010) We as counselors need to focus on the major issues of the client. For example, if a client is talking about her friend is beating her up every day; she will need to give me as a counselor concrete example, so we can work on that specific issue. This is why verbal behavior is important.

Also, counselors should observe key words that the clients are using. For example, if you listen carefully to clients, you will find that certain words appear again and again in the description of the situation (Allen, Mary and Carlos Zalaquett, 2010). I believe keywords can help a counselor figure out the picture of what the client is telling us as the counselors. Also verbal underlining through vocal emphasis is another helpful clue in determining what is most important to client who you are counseling (Allen, Mary and Carlos Zalaquett, 2010).This is why it is important to listen to keywords of what the clients are telling you.

It is also important to observe conflict incongruence’s and discrepancies. Out of awareness of verbal and nonverbal behavior will come an increased the ability to notice conflicts of many types. (Allen, Mary, and Carlos Zalaquett, 2010). This will help counselors to observe issues that can give them deeper understanding is the client is real in the situation they are telling the counselor. For instance, my friend always tells me that her boyfriend is hitting her all the time, but she is always saying he is the best boyfriend in the world. Discrepancies can tell you that your client is contradicting themselves in the in the interview.

Also, the “I” statements and other statements is important while you are counseling the client. We as counselors need to be aware of what is happening in and for our clients as well as learn what occurs in their relationships with others and in their families and communities (Allen, Mary and Carlos Zalaquett, 2010). For instance, my friend would always tell me that it somebody else fault instead of blaming herself for the situation. Counselors need to help individuals look at their issues, but also to help them consider how these concerns relate to others and the surrounding environment ( Allan, Mary, and Carlos Zalaquett, 2010). An “I” statement can serve as helper to improve somebody lives. For instance, there is a guy who was doing drugs every week, we as counselors need to tell him to say he is a drug addict, for part of his recovery of drugs. The “I” statement can be helpful and hurtful in a counselor session.

Next, we as counselors need to encourage, paraphrase and summarize to understand what the clients are talking about. The reason why we need to encourage clients is because to help them continue talking. For instance, if girl say that her boyfriend and her are improving their relationship by going out every weekend, we need to say that is very nice to hear. We also need to paraphrase because we need feedback of what has been said. For example, if we as counselors daze off a little in the counselor session, we need to put in our own words and clients main word when we are paraphrasing to the clients. Summarization we help you and the client over a longer time span. Summarization may be used to begin or end an interview, to move to a new topic, or to clarify complex issues. (Allen, Mary Carlos Zalaquett, 2010) Encouraging, paraphrasing and summarizing can be helpful in counselor sessions.

Also, counselors need to recognize the reflection of feeling in the client. The first task in eliciting and reflecting feelings is to recognize the emotional words that are expressed by the clients ( Ivey, Ivey, Zalaquett). For example, my friend always use to tell me when he was younger that he use to cry all the time and feel sad about when his father and his mother always get into an argument. There are also many unspoken feelings expressed in client’s statements (Ivey, Ivey, Zalaquett). For instance, my friend not only would express his emotion by words, but he will express them by body language, such as, body tense and anger. Body language can tell you a lot about a person in general because it says it all. Reflection of feeling of the clients can help their emotional life more clearly and counselors could figure out how to handle the situation.

Finally, as counselors observing attending patterns of the client behavior is important because it would help you know your client behavior more after more sessions. Observing nonverbal behavior is important because it tells you if the client is comfortable in what you are saying. Also, by encouraging your client can help the client tell their story more effective. By paraphrasing the client story you can effectively give the client feedback in whatever situation the client is going through. By during all the key steps, I believe counselors would know more about their clients and develop a better and long lasting relationship with their clients.

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